Report by: MIKE HAYES

CHRISTMAS NUTS AT NEWMAN’S QUARRY! (Nothing new there then)

At this festive time of year, where can you go to see half a dozen Santas, a pink 90 truck cab cleverly disguised as a Christmas plum pudding, and a hairy Gloucestershire bloke with a turkey jammed on his head?

Answer: MROC Newman’s Quarry RTV Trial of course!

I know we usually have a bit of fun at MROC events, but when I arrived a little later than usual on Newman’s Quarry RTV trials morning I was rendered speechless at what I saw: (Quite a rare thing for me!!!)

18 motors were lined up, all ready for action: some with flashing fairy lights, some adorned with tinsel and then I saw it……….. The strangest Land Rover conversion I have ever seen – A four wheel drive Christmas pudding, only barely recognizable as Steve Smith’s pink 90. Just after I recovered from the shock, Santa Steve climbed out of the pudding, with a flashing red nose, saying “What you lot starin’ at!!! Aven’t you seen a Christmus pud before?”…. Priceless!

I thought I’d seen it all, but I hadn’t reckoned on Martin Barnes’s hat. I can only describe it as a large, furry turkey, which appeared to be trying to lay a rather large egg: Martin’s head!

The lengths some had gone to look stupid was quite staggering. I see I’m going to have to work much harder if I want to look that stupid next year. A possible New Year’s resolution perhaps?

Competition always adds some spice and inspires drivers to continually improve their skills. However Tony O’Connor and Dave Perks had been at their dastardly tricks again: putting in reverse sections and tennis balls dangling by strings as part of the course. Leigh “Hangover” Heaven wasn’t impressed at being forced to actually think about the sections after a heavy night with the lads “behaving like a single man again” (A quote from she who must be obeyed – Marie Heaven). Mind you, Leigh reckons she’s not so clever. He got up in the morning to find only cheese for sandwiches in the fridge. “Stuff that!” he said, “I picked up the camping stove and a frying pan…. went straight down the shop and got a load of bread, sausage, bacon & eggs. She’ll never know!”

Your secret is safe with us Leigh. I’ll certainly not tell her…. Can she read?

Newman’s Quarry is the venue for the last MROC RTV Trial of 2009, and the decider for the RTV League.

In the short wheelbase (SWB) Coil-sprung Class, Tony O’Connor, “The smiling assassin” romped to victory by a massive 19 point margin over son Carl, whilst being extremely quiet and polite about it all. Those are the ones you have to watch!

The SWB leaf-sprung class was as close as ever, with seasoned campaigner Martin Barnes being challenged, and beaten by only 1 point by a young pretender, Will Guilding. Simon Griffiths was chomping at their heels all year and might just be hungry enough to triumph next year.

The Long Wheelbase (LWB) Class was won by Leigh Heaven. A very clever technique was used by Leigh this year. He sold his Disco early in the season, picked the best long wheelbase RTV motor for the conditions at each venue, then borrowed it off the owner and eventually accumulated enough points to beat us all. How did that happen? It’s a weird feeling, a bit like being mugged, but still having your wallet in your back pocket. Congratulations Leigh!!!

The Ladies trophy was taken by Sam Miller in her 90 truck cab. A tidy chassis so I’m told. Enough said!

As always, everyone had a great time at Newman’s Quarry, I certainly did.
The spirit of friendship and lively banter is certainly alive and well among the Trialers, so there were no losers in that sense.

P.S. Check out the photos on the website

For next year’s RTV Trials, let’s have a few more lady drivers to show us blokes up, but just remember the MROC RTV CODE:
1. GOOD FUN Nobody is forced to do this – it’s not meant to be too serious.
2. SAFE FUN Nobody wants to get hurt – We do what we can to manage the risks – YOU must make yourself aware of the risks and follow relevant advice.
3. FAIR COMPETITION We will lay out courses which are challenging, but not intended to bend your motor. We expect competitors not to bend the rules too – Be careful to follow the ALRC rules when preparing for an event – MROC RTV trials are run within the spirit of RTV competition to give everyone a fair chance.
4. GOOD FUN It has been said before, but it’s worth repeating, because that’s why we do it!!!

Happy RTVing for 2010! …. Newcomers always welcome!!!

Mike Hayes - MROC RTV Secretary